dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize