im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize