when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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