I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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