i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did angry sex become our thing?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize