She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
The power of my boobs compel you
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