i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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