I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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