As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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