So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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