He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
