I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
send nudes
from the living room?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
