I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
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He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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