I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
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And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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