i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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