i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
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The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
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why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Just puked most of my soul out..
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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