he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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