.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He did a backflip because drugs
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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