Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am mentally ready for anal.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize