I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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