my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize