take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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