omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize