I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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