No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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