Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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