I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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