Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize