**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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