I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize