My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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