The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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