her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It's never too late to be topless.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize