I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize