I must be too annoying 4 u.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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