I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
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The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
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I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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