the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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