i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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