your room smells of hookers.
And success
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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