You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize