arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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