my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize