ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize