i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize