im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
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