Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Randomize
Follow @tfln