I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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