if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
so let's talk penis.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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