It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize