That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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