Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
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I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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