At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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