Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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