I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize